Return Of The BP Zombie Well
by Fintan Dunne, 14 August 2010 00:35amEST The Gulf's 'Zombie' well is not dead after all, ex-Admiral Thad Allen admitted in a press briefing today, brushing aside earlier official pronouncements that the well was "static," and optimistic spin that a relief well might never be needed. " We will kill the well ," the national incident commander told journalists, while brandishing a wooden stake and wearing a string of powerful Haitian Ju-Ju beads. [/satire] Allen denied comments that he, BP and the Obama scientific team are now as far up Shit Creek as they have ever been, because they applied a band-aid-like top kill and cement to the interior of the leaking oil pipe, when all signs pointed to oil flowing outside the pipe. " Shit Creek? ,"Allen replied when queried. "Not sure if we have any response teams operating there. But if we're not there now, you can rest assured we soon will be." [/satire] During this week, offic...


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